More from the Cuckoo Line

Albert Einstein’s Special relativity indicates that a correspondent may experience relativistic time dilation when expecting the email and photographs they sent to be published within the same inertial frame of reference from the recipient’s standpoint. Or something.

This is the only way to explain the near three years that have elapsed since Matt Brown’s email(s) and photographs were transmitted to the TPAS HQ inbox. And, hand on heart, I’m not sure I even understood that first paragraph.

Matt and his family are regulars exploring ye Olde Cuckoo Line (click to see previous article on subject). Matt is also a car restorer and is rebuilding a GPO Morris van. Now, the photographs you see below are from a series of emails and so I will summarise them here. Most are serendipitous finds along said disused railway line and nearby woods down there in East Sussex. They are hunting for telegraphic artefacts for the making of their very own pre-1960’s garden pole. The yellow truck you see is a forest find GPO truck as once used by TV detectors et al. Other gems in these pics: An undated pole with a star shaped cut out where the date might be, A GPO crown transfer (presumably for the van restoration), a selection of spooky tunnels, culverts and iron railings and a couple of restored Morris van panels.

Not the best photographs in the world., arguably. And camera not in the steadiest hand in the world. With Dutch angles particularly on the tunnel shots. And arguably, not the highest resolution camera in the world. But we enthusiasts can find interest in pretty much anything. Thank you Matt. I imagine you must have finished that van by now.

A Nude Linesman in Oz

 I can’t believe how long it’s taken me to get this post up on to the website. Jerry Deacon, who sent this to me, can’t believe how long it’s taken either. And Jerry, I’ve just realised is none other than (previously plugged on here) Kilgraney Sleepers (now railwaysleepers.com) – the place to go for old railway sleepers (the clue is in the name) but also old and new telegraph poles for ornamental and nerdic use. Nice plug for you there Jerry; I trust that this is adequate recompense for my tardiness.

Anyway, back in March. Jerry wrote to tell us that as an intrepid explorer he came across Hamelin Pool Telegraph Station (1884) near Shark Bay in Western Australia. There is a definite passion for telegraph poles in Oz. In October 1872 the Overland Telegraph line between Darwin and Adelaide was completed, and the Australian telegraph network became linked directly to Europe (termite attacks notwithstanding). Hamelin station was established as a repeater station that linked Western Australia into this same network. And this is the last of these stations still extant. Now, for some reason, it features, quite prominently, a nude linesman attending to the pole top apparatus. Why this should be is anyone’s guess and Jerry offers no explanation, nor does anything at the station itself. Though he did suggest Nude Pole of the Month as a possible new feature for these very pages. I’m going to pretend he never said that.

N&NB Newsletter, January 2023

Norwich & Norfolk branch of The Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society have been quiet for some considerable time. Our fear was that they had diverted their appreciative energy towards canine waste repositories (doggy-poo bins); which abound over on the east coast. A letter from Doreen Bracegirdle (Mrs), Branch chair set our hearts at rest. Their newsletter is reproduced below:

Navigation The TElegraph Pole Way

Member #1030 John Causer wrote to let us know of:
(a) His complete suffusion with pride at having obtained entry into our most august of societies, and
(b) A genuine telegraph pole related anecdote which we reproduce below. It came from from “Surely You’re Joking Mr Feynman” the autobiography of Richard P Feynman (1918-1988), the American Nobel laureate theoretical physicist.

Oh, Feynman – quantum electrodynamics, superfluidity, path-integral-formulation – that Richard Feynman. Yes him.

Thank you John #1030, a small red star has been placed next to your name in the TPAS register of members, which I keep in a little box in the third drawer down in my desk. Keep up the good work.

PS. John also added: “The first sentence needs some parsing.  Read as ‘I entered MIT and was accepted for  the Pi Lambda Delta fraternity, which had various initiation tests’ “. What?

An extract of text from Richard P Feynman's autobiography pertaining to telegraph poles.

Postcards from Didsbury

Sarah-Jane Coleby wrote to us:

In honour of telegraph appreciation day I’ve gone through some old postcards. A couple have stamps and date from 1910, I’m no telegraph pole expert but I hope some of these are of interest 😊 “.

They are indeed Jane. Anything with even a hint of telegraph pole on it piques my interest, girds my loins, stirs my porridge so to speak.

They’re not great resolution so I’ll tell you that they are mostly of a place called Didsbury. Which now, in the present tense, would be called Doesbury and soon it will be called Willbury surely. Did you see what I did there? 😉 Thank you Sarah-Jane.

New Zealand P.O. Marital Aids

Low productivity levels among telegraph pole linesmen was causing serious concern among New Zealand P.O. bosses as the 1960s came to a close. Research led them to believe this was because of unhappy home lives and if they could somehow spice up marital harmony then this trend could be reversed.

A short-lived experiment ensued in which 120 pairs of No. 1 S&M kits were handed to linesmen across three districts: Rotorua, Auckland and Christchurch. They failed however to provide explicit instructions as to their intended use and the baffled pole engineers took them home to humour their bosses.

However by the end of the six month trial period productivity had actually increased in these key areas. Dramatically so in the case of Rotorua. It turns out that the enterprising linesmen had discovered that these fierce looking devices could be attached to their legs and thus enabled them to climb poles way quicker than they ever could using a ladder. Whilst the love lives of the workers hadn’t changed, their speed up a telegraph pole had accelerated four-fold.

Embarrassed bosses back-tracked and reported that this had been their intention all along and that “leg irons” should thenceforth be issued as standard to the workforce.

The set you see below was bought by Judy Pittman at a car-swap meet in Nelson, S. Island. She was delighted to learn the history of them from me but intimated she would be keen to sell them to any of our readers were interested in adding these fascinating love-aids to their paraphernalia collections. She would be happy to post to the UK but reports that postage would cost £36. If anybody is interested, do drop me a line to martin@telegraphpoleappreciationsociety.org and I will pass on your details.

Telegraph Pole Perambulations in Wooler

Wooler, I just looked it up, is in Northumberland by the Cheviot hills, which have always sounded very enticing.

Anyway, Charlie Brown, member #0920 has been taking great advantage of his membership of this sage and august society by applying telegraphpoleology to his country perambulations.  And whilst walking up to Wooler Common last weekend*1 with his grandchildren - Iris & Otto (now members #0926 & #0927) - they bagged a trio of 24ft light poles from 1935.

"In good shape", he tells us, "but leaning a bit hence the D plate and a legible explanation on the A1024."
"Nonetheless they are still doing their job and one can only admire the preservation process from 85 years ago. It was fun to spot*2 and a nice bit of telecommunication history."

He tells us he's enjoying his membership immensely and his GC's (as he calls them) have really taken to it.  They have soul - our future is bright.

*1 Email dated pre-Corona lock down before any narks decide to call the police.
*2 Luckily, he had his very informative copy of Telegraph Pole Appreciation for Beginners to help him here.

Ye Olde Telegraph Apparatusii

This website is normally dedicated to telegraph poles with the emphasis on *poles* - tall wooden sticky-uppy things with wires all coming out of the top. But you cannot be  obsessive about these things without at least wondering what it's all for:
Mostly used as a support medium for Slimming World notices these days, telegraph poles once bristled with crossarms which carried sparky wires conveying messages charged with electromagnetic pulses in the form of morse code. And with all that went enormously varied hardware and a long and rich history.
A venn diagram of telegraph pole nuts (ahem!) and and telecommunication historians would surely have considerable overlap.
The photos you see below are from the collection of Marcos Raijer from N. Florida, USA. Now retired, he spent 40 years collecting this stuff and I'm told that his is a live telegraphic post that connects two morse stations. His plans are to demonstrate telegraphs to physics students.  This is a wonderful collection of some gorgeous apparatus.  Well worthy of a bus trip.  Thanks for sharing with fellow enthusiasts Marcos.
For a more fuller story about the history of the telegraph I recommend students of Telegraphpoleology consult my favourite tome on the subject "The Victorian Internet" by Tom Standage or they may also like to read the online book "Distant Writing" or our own rather less well informed wonky-table-leveller "Telegraph Pole Appreciation for Beginners".

Telegraphular Treasure Trove

What a find. 

Openreach  (used to be called BT) works allocator Steve Sheppard - aka Shep*1 - is a collector of various vintage GPO paraphernalia and dug this old booklet out of his garage in Shepton Mallet to show the overhead/poling guys how it was in the good old days - when penny arrows really were a penny, when you could have a night out for under a shilling and when you could drive home with eight pints inside you (and when you could get killed by someone driving home with eight pints inside them).

Anyway, this is gold dust to we telegraph pole anoraks and also to railway and diorama modellers - who are always asking me for dimensions of such things (I always send them the numbers I find on the labels in my wife's underwear drawer).    We are incredibly grateful to Shep and may his work allocation*2 always be fruitful.  Thanks Shep, these are fabulous.  Enjoy.

*1He's known as Shep not, as you might think, because of his surname, or because he's from Shep-ton Mallet, but rather because of his erstwhile obsession with John Noakes' dog.
*2 Whatever the hell that is!

Telegraph Poles as Navigation Aids

Well, I’ve been banging on about this for years. Fact or fiction, that telegraph poles are aligned to have their insulators face towards London. There was evening a major film with Stoddart E. Schmelhausen in the title role of The Pole Liner you may recall. But really, always, without some real documentary evidence.

Until NOW that is. Thanks to the magic that is telegraph pole enthusiast Rick Howell. He tells us he was reading The Light Car Manual – published in 1914 when he came upon the nugget you see below.
We have feebly covered the topic on here before <here> and <here> and also within the weighty, sage tome Telegraph Pole Appreciation for Beginners which we absolutely insist you buy <here> because it is only £5.99 after all, and if you root around on this website you’ll find a further 10% discount code called IAMSKINT to use at the checkout. Thanks Rick for this epic find.

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