These much ignored pieces of rural and urban furniture finally have a website of their own.
This is not the site to visit for technical information pertaining to telegraph poles. You'll find nothing about 10KVa transformers, digital telephone networking or even so much as a single volt. This is a website celebrating the glorious everyday mundanitude of these simple silent sentinels the world over. We don't care what the wires contain either. They all carry electricity in some way be it the sparky stuff which boils your kettle, or the thinner stuff with your voice in it when you're on the phone.
Poles of yore
A favourite correspondent of this fair society – and there are many – told us of his afternoon of television watching via the means of iPlayer a sort of BBC device that allows one to go back in time and watch things as they once were. Adrian Holmes – he also of August 2025 in our marvellous TPAS Calendar – was watching a 1945 Powell/Pressburger movie called “I Know Where I’m Going” and he thought we’d all appreciate this screen grab from said film. He also attached a BBC link to a great documentary about Powell and Pressburger’s work, presented by Martin Scorsese – clearly a big fan of theirs. As am I now.
TPAS 2025 Calendar
Christmas is coming, the geese are getting worried and turkeys everywhere are wondering “What does January mean?” As advertising copy-writing this opening paragraph seems to be floundering just two sentences in. How to rescue it? I know, here’s the 2025 Telegraph Pole Appreciator’s calendar – yours’ from this very website for a mere £10.99 + postage. These calendars already have heirloom status guaranteed. Your kids will want yours after you’ve moved upstairs. If only to line the cat’s litter tray.
They’re not back from the printers yet, but you can order one now and we’ll get it out to you in good time. To whet your appetite, below is what March 2025 looks like. If you haven’t received yours by then you’re very patient. I’d have gone nuts long before.
And here’s a little teaser for what might be in one of the other months…
We reserve the right to have lifted our advertising copy from a post we made 2 years ago. Nobody remembers anyway.
Telegraph Pole Appreciation Day
21st September is the day to celebrate the glorious everyday mundanitude of these simple silent sentinels the world over. So why not get out there and really appreciate something tall, wooden, sticky-uppy with wires all coming out the top.
Meanwhile here is a photo that member #666 Dave Bennett took of pole revellers down at Pelehenge in Ceredigion a couple of years ago. With some cross pollination going on here it’s also mini golf appreciation day.
And because it’s such a special day here’s a very recent photo of the Fabled Lost Pole of Bala Leisure Centre.
Pole of the Month – August 2024
This photo landed onto our mailing clerk’s desk back in July. But TPAS Towers is a huge building and, as the world’s premier Telegraph Pole appreciating society, things can get a bit caught up in our bureaucratic processes. Anyway, our adjudicators have selected this fine specimen as the Pole of the Month for August. I shall quote the accompanying letter verbatim:
“This happy fellow can be found strutting around a field next to an obscure lane not far to the south of Truro. I am not sure of the source of his pleasure but I am always greeted with the utmost jollity whenever I happen to pass that way. I call him ‘The Laughing Cavalier’ because of his enduring expression of mirth. Whether he qualifies for ‘pole of the month’ status I know not, but thought you might enjoy him anyway.
Regards,
Peter Burton (member no. 0685)”
Our adjudication team have not the faintest idea what sort of power pole configuration that is – this is not that kind of website – but they completely understand and approve of Peter’s anthropomorphisation of said tall wooden sticky-uppy thing with wires coming out of the top. It was such telegraphular pareidolia that was the basis of pole appreciation from the outset. Given them names is said to be the ultimate in appreciation. The head of the jury for POTM selection said that he once had a pole called Audrey outside his house in North Wales. Congratulations Peter and thanks for sharing with our connoisseurial society.
Aurora Telegraphpolealis
Who could ever forget February 2023? For it was after that last day of a cold dark and windy January that most of us flipped our TPAS Calendar over to a new month revealing Hazel Long’s magnificent dawn pole (above) – bringing renewed joy and hope into the hearts of this telegraph pole appreciating nation. Or something like that.
Well, Hazel has moved house. Not that far from the original Brighouse photo – and still within Yorkshire – where they play cricket, throw rocks at Lancastrians and make tea. To a place called Scapegoat Hill to join the 1,246 other inhabitants who all came out to marvel at the new pole (right). Said pole is so new it hasn’t been wired up to anything yet. Once connected it will doubtless allow residents to add Yorkshire Tea , Terry’s Chocolate Oranges and Henderson’s Relish to their weekly online grocery order.
Hazel tells us she likes a spartan life and to be in bed by 8pm and so missed the aurora borealis northern light show that not so long ago blessed our skies. Luckily, son James was still up and captured the DP of magnificence you see below. I presume this too was in Yorkshire. Actually, it looks like the old place. Anyway, this has all prompted me to do some research on a county I’ve only ever visited once: Puddings of course. Those flat, soggy, slightly burnt things that people have with their sunday dinner. They’re from Yorkshire. The world’s yappiest dog breed comes from Yorkshire too. These handbag sized mutts have yapped their way under the skin of many a quiet-loving neighbour. Seth Armstrong was the county’s most famous beer drinker and supped more than 3,750 pints of ale during his tenure at the bar of the Woolpack Inn, Emmerdale, between 1978 and 2004. Emmerdale, formerly Emmerdale Farm, now regularly competes with Coronation Street for the most train crashes and aviation disasters in a half-hour light drama series.
End of World is NOT yet nigh
At the time of writing, and as far as I know, Mr Putin’s plutonium tipped armageddon is NOT presently on its way to mither my little backwater in west Wales. They would surely have said something on radio four if it were. So at 4:12 pm on bank holiday Monday I can safely put the title to this post. Trouble is I’m not sure of the timescale they’re talking about when they say “nigh”.. If nigh is the four minutes of the eponymous warning from the 1970s then I should still be ok for another cup of tea. But if “nigh” refers to any quantity of time greater than 4 minutes, then yes, I suspect the end is, in fact, nigh. In mathematics this might be written as End=t>4.
What’s he blathering on about I hear both you and me saying? What I’m trying to say are two things. That (a) all is well with the world if I can find the time (in a hectic life) to post some telegraph pole photos and (b) If nigh was indeed imminent, then here are some telegraph poles to fill your remaining four minutes.
Back to Ireland again. Yes, I know, my fantasy job as globe-trotting espionater often takes me over there with time off between top secret missions to spot poles and also interesting railway station paraphernalia. Herewith: Can’t quite remember where this hairily ivied pole was but then we stopped at Roscrea Station, Co. Tipperary for a good nerdle. Then on to Birr, Co. Offaly for those interesting petrol pumps and finally, a bookshop in Thurles (pronounced Turlies) where I found that intriguing book. Who cares what it says inside it, it’s got poles on the front.
One regret was that whilst in Roscrea, I didn’t take a photo of “Breens Footwear” shop. Google streetview will give you an idea of how it was in 2019. Let’s just say the last five years have not been kind to it.
TPAS Norwich & Norfolk Newsletter
Norwich branch Chair, Willie Montgomery Stack wondered what had happened at TPAS HQ to cause such a paucity of posts recently – none since December. So he sent us their regional newsletter by way of poking us with a stick to better our ways.
POTM & The Christmas Rush
Apologies if you’ve been waiting on an order from us. They are all now in the post but there was this tiddly little pole we wanted to take a look at you see. Only it was in Ireland. This required a four hour drive up to Holyhead, an overnight, then the 9am ferry to Dublin, then another six hour drive back up to the top left hand corner to find it. We didn’t tell anyone we were going as we tend to leave the key under the mat and last time, Auntie Brenda came in a tidied the place up. Now we can’t find a thing.
This must qualify as the cutest pole in, well, anywhere really. It’s short single arm with its solitary clipped off insulator serves to highlight the road-to-nowhere feel about the place. It’s the sort of pole you might find in a Flann O’Brien novel*1. The sky being the lighter of the two shades that this part of the world normally provides. This is just off the R238 at Leckemy on the back road to Moville near the quarry. I’m going to call it my Pole of the Month.
Another pole of interest is one that I once sailed past on Lough Swilly, just above Fahan (pronounced Farn) marina. Talk about past glories – this pole is no longer connected to anything, not even the house beyond the hedge. But it does shout to me “contender for calendar 2025”. One more photo is a fine run of power poles intersected by a rainbow near Inch island which happened to be on somebody’s special birthday and it kept on bloody raining!
And finally, the reason for the Christmas rush might also be my last chance to plug our wonderful 2024 Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society calendars. Here is mighty June. Can’t wait. Get yours <here>.
*1 The Third Policeman. Possibly the finest novel written. Ever.
More from the Cuckoo Line
Albert Einstein’s Special relativity indicates that a correspondent may experience relativistic time dilation when expecting the email and photographs they sent to be published within the same inertial frame of reference from the recipient’s standpoint. Or something.
This is the only way to explain the near three years that have elapsed since Matt Brown’s email(s) and photographs were transmitted to the TPAS HQ inbox. And, hand on heart, I’m not sure I even understood that first paragraph.
Matt and his family are regulars exploring ye Olde Cuckoo Line (click to see previous article on subject). Matt is also a car restorer and is rebuilding a GPO Morris van. Now, the photographs you see below are from a series of emails and so I will summarise them here. Most are serendipitous finds along said disused railway line and nearby woods down there in East Sussex. They are hunting for telegraphic artefacts for the making of their very own pre-1960’s garden pole. The yellow truck you see is a forest find GPO truck as once used by TV detectors et al. Other gems in these pics: An undated pole with a star shaped cut out where the date might be, A GPO crown transfer (presumably for the van restoration), a selection of spooky tunnels, culverts and iron railings and a couple of restored Morris van panels.
Not the best photographs in the world., arguably. And camera not in the steadiest hand in the world. With Dutch angles particularly on the tunnel shots. And arguably, not the highest resolution camera in the world. But we enthusiasts can find interest in pretty much anything. Thank you Matt. I imagine you must have finished that van by now.
TPAS Calendar 2024
Is nearly here. Just doing the last checks over the artwork and then we’ll get it off to the printers for return 2nd week of November probably. This will be a limited run, one-off. Pre-order here.
