These much ignored pieces of rural and urban furniture finally have a website of their own.
This is not the site to visit for technical information pertaining to telegraph poles. You'll find nothing about 10KVa transformers, digital telephone networking or even so much as a single volt.
This is a website celebrating the glorious everyday mundanitude of these simple silent sentinels the world over.
|from the simple...||through the interesting...||to the hieroglyphics||and the alluring|
|click the thumbnails above to view the gallerys.||more poles...|
We don't care what the wires contain either. They all carry electricity in some way be it the sparky stuff which boils your kettle, or the thinner stuff with your voice in it when you're on the phone.
Now, I have one amazing claim to fame: On 17th May 1985 somewhere on the M6 near Walsall I overtook a dark blue estate car. At the wheel of that car was none other than Duncan Goodhew. Yes this famously dyslexic motivational-speaker who has twice appeared on the Sooty Show glanced across at me knowingly - I could just see in his eyes he was trying to say "For Christ's sake, come on then, overtake if you're going to." Duncan, by this time, tiring of his squeaky puppet celebrity, discovered that his low-friction scalp gave him an advantage in the swimming pool. He never looked back and won all medals and stuff and then did other stuff, probably. The final Sooty Show aired in 1992.
Anyway, now it's time for your very own CLAIM TO FAME. It's WIN A TPAS MUG COMPETITION TIME - Yes, enthrall your grandchildren as they beg you again and again to tell them the story of the day you won a Telegraph Pole mug off the chap who overtook Duncan Goodhew on the M6.
It's one of those caption competions. Think up a caption for the picture you see below. Not the mug picture, the other one. Look up the rules on someone else's caption competition and send us your caption. We'll choose a winner from one of my wife's*1 ones by next Saturday (ish). The picture was sent in to us by Dave Bennett (#0666) and somebody else sent it to him - the photo was taken at 16 megapixels apparently, but somehow shrank in the wash so I had to photoshop it back up again. Anyway, here it flippin' is. See below picture for where to send your captions.
*1 Only kidding
Send your captions to us at:
FACEBOOK: In the comments section on the related post on our facebook page
Look what you win: (not that exact mug - you won't want that one - it forms part of our in-house tea-stain ring-growing competition.)
We reserve the right to change the rules to suit ourselves - cos there's always someone who tries it on. No more than 2 captions per fake email address please.
MartYn Fielder (#0486H) claims never to have seen the Telegraph Pole related blockbuster "The Pole Liner". We find this a little difficult to believe, but just to ensure this status quo becomes mutatis mutandis*1 here is a link to see this cinematic masterpiece for free, in your own home completely surrounded by your own odours. <Watch The Pole Liner>. Anyway MartYn also apologises for his non-correspondence for the last 3 years, but he hopes his submission of the 6 photos you see below will go some way to correcting things. We'll give it a go...
He also pointed us in the direction of the "Dull Men's Club" for reasons we cannot yet fathom. We are familiar with said organisation, but it seems, they not with us. Also, MartYn filled us in on his recent potted history. He left Senegal, moved to Paris, got Married and went on honeymoon to the Isle*2 of Skye. This is not a permutation of events achieved by anyone ever, either before or since. It was during the honeymoon on Skye that he spotted these "Jolly looking poles with extra pokey bits" with the Cuillin Hills in the background during Skye's annual sunny day of 2015. He couldn't choose between the pics*3 so he sent them all. Anyway, he asks what are the pokey bits? Well, MartYn your nomenclature is bang on the nail. The correct telegraphpoleological term for these raised insulators on stalks is indeed "Pokey Bits". So that's that cleared up then.
*1 The opposite of Status Quo. Showaddywaddy perform a similar function.
*2 As a nerd, I take issue with describing Skye as an island seeing as it now has a bridge.
*3 Neither could I
Regular and high-powered*1 contributor to the depth of telegraphic wisdom that makes up these society pages - is our old friend Carter Wall (#0487H). Carter tells us she has decamped to Florida for her Yuletide felicitations - and if I had not got a grip of myself and not finally got around to posting this now it would have seemed hopelessly anachronistic. As it is, 1st Jan is still officially Crimbo. Anyway...
We have decamped to sunny Florida for the holidays, and got here in time to catch the town's very home-made Christmas parade, which features everything from the high school marching band to the local dentist dressed as Santa, driving his Corvette. My hands down favorite in the parade, and I am sure that of any other TPASers*2 in the crowd, was the local electric utility's float, which featured two telegraph poles, complete with hardware. First time I've seen a pole with fairy lights! Merry Christmas to you all!
Cater signed off with "Sent from my mobile - please pardon any typos". Well of course I will - I'm not the sort to hold grudges. Typos, you are forgiven.
*1 Did you see what I did there? Oh goodness me, I'm just so sharp!
*2 Yes, this definitely would be a favourite.
Ray Newman would have sent us these fine pictures of Telegraph Pole Finials much sooner, only he tells us he has been the victim of a dental extraction which went terribly wrong. For Ray’s dentist had got things completely back to front – instead of taking Ray’s teeth out – he accidentally fitted a handful of teeth IN to Ray’s already full mouth. So the poor chap has been walking the streets of Bishopstone, Herne Bay smiling and beaming at everyone, in a desperate attempt to use up this excess in superfluous dental accoutrements.
Anyway, he’s nearly back to a regular grin now, thankfully, and has been taking the time to look skywards at telegraph pole adornments: Herewith two pictures of a pole with Owl shaped finial – presumably, together with the bird spikes intended to ward off birds – with limited success if picture #1 is anything to go by. Ray has also come up against the age old telegraph pole appreciators’ exposure problem: photographing them against a bright sky – a problem he seems almost to have overcome by the third picture which shows a handsome wooden finial.
Many thanks Ray. Do keep smiling :-)