31 Jan 2022

Country Life and a virtuoso trumpet solo

posted in: Country poles, Found Poles, Gorgeousness, GPO, Submissions, Vintage |

Amongst the heavily thumbed magazines to be found in the waiting room at my rural GP surgery was always at least one copy of Country Life. This magazine, to me, represented the completely unobtainable. It featured houses the likes of which I would never afford. There were nuptial celebrations that clearly weren’t in the local working men’s club and a heady mix of horse-riding features, fine art sales and articles about Rolls Royce. Unobtainable – like that girl in the sixth form to my fourth year hormone rush.

How elevated must I feel now to find myself within it’s esteemed pages. 19th January issue. Hardly tomorrow’s chip paper. This serendipitous chain of events continued with my receiving a letter from Adrian Holmes from Barnes which is so glowing in praise and so beautifully written that I post it here verbatim:

Dear Martin –

Your book (which I saw featured in Country Life) is an absolute delight – by turns daft, erudite and laugh-out-loud funny. Thank you for the pleasure it gave me.

As a mark of my appreciation, here’s a photo I took while on holiday in Scotland in July 2005. The stretch of water in the distance is Upper Loch Torridon.

Regrettably, Google Streetview reveals the inevitable has happened – that jaunty line of beautifully weathered poles has since danced its way into oblivion.

Now in its place there’s just a drab line of freshly creosoted, boringly vertical spindles (there’s no other term), carrying one measly multicore cable.  

Actually, I tell a lie: by some miracle, original pole no. 3 in the photo is still hanging on in there. Yay!

Best wishes,
Adrian Holmes
Barnes
London

I confess to a tear upon reading Adrian’s words, and then a second tear as my heart swelled with this breathtaking view from Scotland.

A run of three armed telegraph poles alongside a rural lane in Upper Loch Torridon with loch in the middle distance and mountains in background

The full article from Country Life can be found right here. Country Living, 19th January

22 Oct 2021

Dundalk Poles

posted in: Adornments, Country poles, Found Poles, Gorgeousness, Things on poles |

“Being late is the sincerest form of rudeness” – Martin Evans, Founder, T.P.A.S.

You can quote me on that. I have been known to be a whole day early for appointments. I’ve been at the railway station so “in good time” that I caught the train 3 trains before the one I was meant to go on. And I’m always at the turnstiles at Park Avenue just as the yawning caretaker arrives to let the football club staff in.

This is how we ended up cruising the R173 just north of Dundalk. On our way south to catch the good ship Stena Adventurer and Mrs TPAS refused to spend four hours waiting in the car for Dublin terminal 3 check-in to open.

We were ostensibly going to look out for curlews and oyster catchers on the mudflats near Bellurgan point. I have photographed these poles before. But 3 years have passed and I did find another one further up the same road. At least one of these should be pole of the month, but I can’t choose which.

Now, we weren’t 100% sure of the way back to the ferry terminal from here. Luckily, the last pole had the answer. My life hasn’t been the same since.

  • four armed pole alongside the R173, N.E. of Dundalk, Co Louth, Ireland
  • Four armed pole alongside the busy R173 north east of Dundalk, County Louth, Ireland
  • 3.5 armed pole, ie four armed pole with half an arm missing near Dundalk, Ireland.
  • Obverse view of a four armed pole on the R173 near Dundalk. Half of one of the arms is missing.
  • Four armed pole alongside the R173 near Dundalk
  • Four armed pole alongside the R173 near Dundalk. Has a poster which reads "Jesus says I am the way"
  • A poster on a four armed pole near Dundalk which reads "Jesus says I am the way"
3 Oct 2021

Postcards from Didsbury

posted in: Found Poles, History, Photos, Telegraph Poles, Vintage |

Sarah-Jane Coleby wrote to us:

“In honour of telegraph appreciation day I’ve gone through some old postcards. A couple have stamps and date from 1910, I’m no telegraph pole expert but I hope some of these are of interest 😊 “.

They are indeed Jane. Anything with even a hint of telegraph pole on it piques my interest, girds my loins, stirs my porridge so to speak.

They’re not great resolution so I’ll tell you that they are mostly of a place called Didsbury. Which now, in the present tense, would be called Doesbury and soon it will be called Willbury surely. Did you see what I did there? 😉 Thank you Sarah-Jane.

22 Sep 2021

Russell is a Jerk

posted in: Conspiracy Theory, Electricity Poles, Engineers, Foreign ones, Found Poles, Oddities, Photos |

This is a tale from over there. Mike (whose surname never made it the 3,327 miles across the Atlantic) wrote to us from Seaside Heights, New Joizy wherein he is a lineman for an electric utility company. He sent us the photos you see below accompanied by the following missive:

“There once was a Lineman named Russ and a Telephone repair man called Tom. They were always playing jokes on each other, such as , if Russ saw Tom’s truck in town, he would go put dielectric grease on his door handle or his steering wheel or tool bin door or all three.


So Tommy made a sign with the stencil kit they use to make tags for the poles and that’s where this came from. I’ve been working here 20 years and I know Russ retired way before I started, so I don’t know how long that’s been here.”

This website and society leans, say, 95% towards Britishness, so over here a more relevant, accessible, phrase stenciled into a telegraph pole might be “Russell is a Knob“.

If you are at all affected by things you’ve seen or read on this page you should call “Hope & Healing” on 866-202-HELP

4 Aug 2021

Pole of the Month – August 2021

posted in: Country poles, Found Poles, Gorgeousness, GPO, Pole of the Month, Vintage |

I’m using this post to come out… as an enthusiastic e-biker. I have managed to wean myself off “turbo” mode now, finally – which is quite something given my great age and also the landscape around here.

Yesterday morning, 3rd August, on a 20 miler in to the hinterland (y Gwyll*1) around Bethania and Trefenter, Ceredigion, I came across this gorgeous remnant.

I had climbed from home in the well of the Aeron valley to the wildness that is to be found above 1,000 feet. Where the hedgerows give way to grassy banks and rosebay is supreme. Underneath, yellow rattles to brown, harebells nod and yarrow and tormentil snatch a peek at the sun.

This is one of only two of this type remaining on the run. The rest having long since been replaced, tidied up. The “D” plate suggests these are not long for this world either. The doby marks quite worn away with the bleaching wind in this remote place: GPO / 20L / ’58 Note the pair of intact telenduron terminators not to mention the ragged fleece of lichen.

The run of poles petered out shortly afterwards – presumably at Bancyllyn farm opposite Llyn Eiddwen (the source of the river Aeron) – I wasn’t paying attention at this point though – I was much too conscious of the sonic boom I was leaving behind from my great speed at this point.

According to folklore that I either read somewhere or have just made up thinking I’ve read it somewhere Llyn Eiddwen, is one of the portals to the fairy world. The other being the bottom of our garden. I didn’t see anything remotely fairyish here mind you, but then I refer you to my previous statement about sonic booms and going really fast etc. On my e-Bike. I’ve got one you know.

*1 as you may know if off the Welsh telly.

  • Hairy telegraph pole near Llyn Eiddwen, Ceredigion.
  • Single armed 1958 pole hairy with algal growth.
  • D plate and 8A numbering of the 1958 pole near Llyn Eiddwen.
  • Close up of doby marks on a 1958 GPO pole 20L (20 Light)
    GPO / 20L / ’58
  • Looking back at Llyn Eiddwen from the lane to the north.
    Llyn Eiddwen
21 Apr 2021

Another Fabled Lost Pole

posted in: fabled poles, Found Poles, Gorgeousness, Railway poles, Vintage |

We all know about the Fabled Lost Pole of Bala Leisure Centre. Well here’s another lost pole and I think I’m going to use my high office as member #0001 of The Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society to enfable it. Enfabling means that this becomes only the UK’s second ever Fabled Pole. This one is henceforth to be known as The Fabled Lost Pole of Norton Fitzwarren*1. So fabled is it, that all I can tell you is that it’s in some woods, on a footpath next to the West Somerset Railway.

For a pole to become fabled is the telegraphic equivalent of beatification – which is something highly churchy and to do with the making of saints. And I don’t mean Southampton Football Club.

Special thanks, as always, to completely favoured TPAS correspondent, Agent #0469H John Brundsen. John is a climber of poles by day and walker with ‘er indoors by weekend. His emails always make me pause as they are 100% always newsworthy. And this one is, to quote the vernacular, a “stonker”. It was John, you will remember, who provided this society with this view of Cornwall through a hole in a telegraph pole.

*1 There’s a rude joke here about Norton Fitzwarren, I’m sure, but we’re better than that.

  • A disused telegraph pole hereunto known as the fabled lost pole of Norton Fitzwarren
  • A disused telegraph pole hereunto known as the fabled lost pole of Norton Fitzwarren
  • A close up of the crossarms and some broken insulators atop an old and disused telegraph pole hereunto known as the fabled lost pole of Norton Fitzwarren
  • A disused telegraph pole hereunto known as the fabled lost pole of Norton Fitzwarren
  • Hidden in the trees, A disused telegraph pole hereunto known as the fabled lost pole of Norton Fitzwarren
  • Railway tracks of the West Somerset railway disappearing off into the distance.
10 Mar 2021

An Exhibition of Pole Photos by Member #0985H

posted in: Big Poles, Broken Poles, dropwires, Found Poles, Oddities, Slideshow, Submissions, Telegraph Poles |

Welcome to the TPAS virtual gallery. Wayne Firth is an honorary member of this society. He didn’t become such via the usual vulgarity of a cash donation delivered personally to my doorstep. Nor did he offer me a non-executive seat at some dubious investment company. And he didn’t marry my sister either.*1 Whilst these are all perfectly valid means of suffixing your membership with the esteemed “H”, Wayne went one better and used his position within the echelons of Openreach to access photos of poles of great interest. These he then sent to us under plain cover.

I’ve been hanging on to these for a while with the intention of spreading them out over a year. Truth is, my email inbox stretches off for over a mile now and so if I left it any longer then they may be lost to the silt at the bottom. (Apologies to those still waiting a reply from me for anything at all – don’t lose hope).

Anyway, thanks to Wayne #0985H for all these fabulous pole pics. Click a pic for full sized gallery.

*1 All are also valid, and oft used, means of acquiring peerage and/or PPE contracts.

PS the descriptive captions whilst seemingly blooming obvious… to the sighted, are from the alt text which we include with each image so as not to exclude so to speak…

  • The view from the top of a BT pole. A suburban street. Plus some bird poo very much in evidence.
  • A telegraph pole burning from top to bottom in a suburban street.
  • A large red tractor has crashed into a busy suburban telegraph pole breaking it on to the bonnet of the tractor.
  • A low brick wall with a cutout for a pole. Presume the pole was there first.
  • A low brick wall with a cutout for a pole. Presume the pole was there first. Viewed from other side
  • close up of A low brick wall with a cutout for a pole. Presume the pole was there first.
  • A pole reassigned as a fence with a footpath sign nailed to it.
  • A pole reassigned as a fence on a country walk
  • Pole 887 as a top bar of a fence in a field.
  • Same former telegraph pole as fence bar
  • New suburban house built but with existing telegraph pole now right in the middle of the driveway
  • a Distribution pole burning at the top in a scene around sunset
  • A pole so covered in ivy - now leafless presumed killed - that it looks like a tree
  • A tall pole with two towers in the background. Sorry, don't know what the towers are
  • A rural telegraph pole with a castellated folly on the low hill in background.
  • a pole outside Bradford FC football ground
  • A BT pole fractured around the 4ft mark - clearly hit by a vehicle.
  • A BT pole fractured around the 4ft mark - clearly hit by a vehicle from different angle. Looks like northern england.
  • The numbers 666 as pole ID
  • DP at dusk in suburban housing estate.
  • View from low of DP 99 a tall telegraph pole
  • A DP (Distribution Pole) at dusk in suburban estate setting

16 Feb 2020

Olde Pole along the Cuckoo Line

posted in: Found Poles, GPO, Vintage |
Matt Brown has found a great old telegraph pole alongside the disused “Cuckoo line” in East Sussex.  Most of the poles have long gone he tells us, but this short one, sans all-but-one insulator, stands silently sentinel over the ghosts of pre-Beeching rail services.
As I regularly give in to pressure from Wikipedia and actually donate to their cause, I feel justified in paraphrasing this bit of text from there:  The Cuckoo Line is the nickname given to the defunct railway service between Polegate and Eridge in the aforementioned coutny.  It was in operation from 1880 until 1968.  Apparently, a tradition observed at the annual April fair at Heathfield – a station on the line – would see a lady release a cuckoo from a basket and it being supposedly the ‘first cuckoo of spring’.  Well bloody hell!
An old car tax disc for Morris van AMD 438H price £56Anyway,  Matt also reckons he’s heard, off a man who knows a man that BT are thinking of getting rid of all telegraph poles by 2030.  Is this true?  He asks.  Over my putrefying, maggot riddled corpse I say.  So, yes, probably Matt.
Finally, Matt, who renovates classic cars for a living – under the name Precision Panel Craft – tells us is GPO Minor van is slowly coming back from the dead.  He enclosed the 2nd photo here by way of proof.  So you’ve restored the tax disc then Matt?
26 Oct 2019

Telegraphular Garden Art

posted in: Art, Found Poles, Gorgeousness, Insulators, Restoration Project |

When I first founded the world's foremost Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society way back in 1956 - though it might have been closer to 8 o'clock, it's so long ago now - I thought I was alone in my strange, primeval feelings towards telegraph poles. And when I broadcast to the world my efforts at restoring an old pole-head and crossarms little did I know that it would spark inspiration in deepest Somerset.

Professor of Telegraphpoleology at the Faculty for insulators, crossarms and dropwires at Frome University, Jake Rideout, is well known to us here at TPAS Towers. He has, of late, been submitting progress reports on his garden ornamentation made entirely from scrap telegraph pole parts.

His was a real struggle of out-of-shape diagonal braces, weeping Keruing crossarm timbers, defective "J" brackets and the general sourcing of spares for such an increasingly rare object. Of the crossarm jewels, Jake tells us:

"Insulator wise, I have decided to keep it basic and use a variety of more common GPO patterns like you would expect to see on your average pole. The top arm has 3 No.8 Cordeaux and a No.2 Queens Cordeaux on the left (The outer two brown ones are both Denby made, the left hand white one a newer Denby with the blue GPO ink stamp on the dome and the right white is a Bullers made). The double J bracket on the left side has a LEA composite No.8 and unmarked No.2 Queens. The bottom arm has four No.16 dryspots (The two on the left have taller fuse caps) which are a mix of Wade and Bullers made, with double groove variants on the left and single groove on the right."

Anyway, below you can see a small gallery of Jake's progress from entropy to negentropy* - a collection of bits to a single completed telegraph pole enthusiast's joy.  Jake wondered if he had provided too much information regarding the insulators.  There's no such thing as too much information when it comes to this kind of thing.

*  You'll need to look that one up.

11 Sep 2019

The birth of the Telegraph Pole Preservation Society?

posted in: Appreciating, Big Poles, Country poles, Found Poles, Gorgeousness, Vintage |

In all my years*1 of being Prime Member, #0001, of this very society I have never been sent a photo of a pole with twelve crossarms before, let alone see one in the wild.  Until today I thought they were the preserve of BT archives and wonderful books about telegraph poles.

Ray Thorp, ex BT employee of 42 years *2 sent us these amazing pictures of an “A” pole on the Coventry Canal.  He says it is the last remnant of a trunk route between Coventry and Atherstone.  He also suggests that there are several Canal enthusiasts who would like to see it preserved.  He doesn't think his erstwhile employers*3 would be interested and asks who might be the best people to contact with regards the preservation of this wonderful specimen.

Well, if Deep Mind's Alpha Go project and it's 1,202 CPU processors can beat Chinese expert player Fan Hui at the notoriously difficult board game Buckaroo then we 1,000 members*4 can surely combine our own not inconsiderable neural networks to come up with someone or somehow or someway to save this canalside beauty.

Come on TPAS let's be the T.P.P.S.

*1 Now officially measured in decades
*2  There is some ambiguity as to whether Ray's been an ex employee some 42 years or whether he worked for them for 42 years and does no longer.
*3 42 years hence, or perhaps not (see *2)
*4 Give or take a number between 1 and 1,000.

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