Visiting old friends

And a new one.

There was a wasps’ nest in our local letterbox. So apologies to those folk who felt we’d dallied a little in getting your book and membership orders out to you. I know this sounds a little like “the dog ate my homework” kind of excuse, but truth was our postie refused to collect from it until some young lady exterminator from Aberystwyth had sorted things with a big stick. I did, at one point, poke my endoscope camera down there to see them sitting there. The parcels that is not the wasps – they were too busy asking me if I’d mind awfully going away. Anyway, wasps relocated now and the packages have been delivered.

In an effort to sort my work-life balance so that it weighs almost completely on the side of life, my feet have barely touched the ground this summer. Jollys here, trips away there, pub crawls everywhere. And whilst I was out and about I took the opportunity to visit a few old friends. I don’t have many friends so what I really mean is telegraph poles. And it’s arguably my relationship with telegraph poles that leads to me having no friends in the first place. And the damned “e” key is sticking again on this laptop. And the “a” key.

Little gallery below for you to peruse. You might recognise the first picture – it featured as January in our 2024 calendar. I go this way to walk into the wilderness beyond “Soar y Mynydd” chapel. I keep hoping to be handed some stone tablets with words of wisdom carved on to them whilst I’m up there but so far, nothing. Next up was my favourite, and arguably the world’s best “B” road – the B5105. The lovely little run of vintage poles between Ruthin and Clawddnewydd are largely still there. Some hiding in trees to avoid the poling gangs who would brutally yank them up and replace with a tarry vanilla job. Not unlike that which you see in the next picture. A brand new pole. 9 metre Medium pole preserved in 2025 and, according to the Openreach rule book nailed next to it, was planted just 3 weeks before my visit. This one is at the beautifully named Burlingjobb in Powys. Finally, more wilderness walks – high up into the Radnor Hills, over the delightful but windy “Whimble” and on up to Black Mixen. The Radnors seem to have a monopoly on great names for their hills. Anyway this power pole is the last of the run before the cable to Black Mixen telecom tower goes underground. So windy here it requires 5 stay wires (only 4 visible in this pic). This path, incidentally, borders the Harley Dingle explosive and ammunition testing ground which makes for some interesting flashes and bangs some days as they test out the very latest in Royal Mail Postbox Wasp clearing ordnance.

Aurora Telegraphpolealis

The February 2023 Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society Calendar page.  Showing the month and a photo of a silhouetted DP taken against a dawn orange sky.

Who could ever forget February 2023? For it was after that last day of a cold dark and windy January that most of us flipped our TPAS Calendar over to a new month revealing Hazel Long’s magnificent dawn pole (above) – bringing renewed joy and hope into the hearts of this telegraph pole appreciating nation. Or something like that.

Well, Hazel has moved house. Not that far from the original Brighouse photo – and still within Yorkshire – where they play cricket, throw rocks at Lancastrians and make tea. To a place called Scapegoat Hill to join the 1,246 other inhabitants who all came out to marvel at the new pole (right). Said pole is so new it hasn’t been wired up to anything yet. Once connected it will doubtless allow residents to add Yorkshire Tea , Terry’s Chocolate Oranges and Henderson’s Relish to their weekly online grocery order.

A brand new telegraph pole with no wires attached yet.

Hazel tells us she likes a spartan life and to be in bed by 8pm and so missed the aurora borealis northern light show that not so long ago blessed our skies. Luckily, son James was still up and captured the DP of magnificence you see below. I presume this too was in Yorkshire. Actually, it looks like the old place. Anyway, this has all prompted me to do some research on a county I’ve only ever visited once: Puddings of course. Those flat, soggy, slightly burnt things that people have with their sunday dinner. They’re from Yorkshire. The world’s yappiest dog breed comes from Yorkshire too. These handbag sized mutts have yapped their way under the skin of many a quiet-loving neighbour. Seth Armstrong was the county’s most famous beer drinker and supped more than 3,750 pints of ale during his tenure at the bar of the Woolpack Inn, Emmerdale, between 1978 and 2004. Emmerdale, formerly Emmerdale Farm, now regularly competes with Coronation Street for the most train crashes and aviation disasters in a half-hour light drama series.

A DP pole silhouetted in front of a colourful aurora sky.

Messing with my mind

I’ve been playing with ChatGPT lately – the world-changing artificial intelligence that we, as a society, haven’t fully worked out what to do with yet. I won’t tell you how, but it is a real boon in one of my day jobs. I won’t be telling the people I work for either. Anyway, very recently, I was introduced to ChatGPT’s elder, more artistic sister. Her name is DALL-E. We’ve become very close. Close enough that Mrs TPAS is asking me what’s going on. I think up something and DALL-E draws it for me. Just like that. Here’s a couple of pictures she did for me of Godzilla in a wedding gown (Bridezilla). Mrs TPAS already knows about this side of me by the way.

So, obviously, being the supreme commander of The Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society I wanted to know how DALL-E might draw a telegraph pole. So I asked her for “a photo realistic telegraph pole with 6 arms on a lonely road in Wales”. Below is what she came up with. It really flips my mind. I can almost feel the fuggy intelligence behind it all trying to please me. The landscapes and the poles are real enough, yet completely alien at the same time. Eerie even. I love them. What’s also clear is that DALL-E, like most people, doesn’t discern between a telephone pole and a power pole. Mwynhewch! as we say on lonely roads in Wales.
(click an image to enlarge)

Erection

I came this ‘ ‘ close to deleting an email I received this week with the subject line as above. I used to receive many such messages. Often accompanied by words like dysfunction, failure, problems etc. All the while extolling the virtues of some wonder pills guaranteed to make my wife happy. It’s well known in this household that a long trawl around a garden centre is far more likely to lighten Mrs TPAS’ countenance than anything I could swallow. I think. I hope!

Anyway, I have the curiosity of a small, hungry cat called Brian, and I noticed that this particular email also had a photo attached. So it is by the skin of all our teeth that I present to you this delicious telegraph pole courtesy of Euros Jones.

Euros is not one to waste words and the photo came with the simple caption:

“Went through Aberangell last week and saw this pole being replaced.”

Aberangell is a village deep within the stunning gorgeousness of the Dovey hills, N.E. of Machynlleth. And just think what a coup it would have been had we also a photo of this old pole coming down and the new one going up as witnessed, alas uncaptured, by Euros. If I won the lottery I suppose I could always get them to re-enact it just for my not-at-all-obsessive benefit.

Anyway, I doff my cap firmly in Euros’ direction. He saw a pole being replaced and somehow managed to put his hands on the photo of it going up in the first place decades ago. I certainly couldn’t do that. And I don’t know many who could. Actually, I say I doff my cap, but truth is, the only headwear I ever wear is an Aberystwyth Town FC bobble hat. So next time I’m at the footy Euros, it’ll get doffed your way.

Black and white photo of a street scene in Aberangell, mid Wales, showing a GPO team putting up a four crossarm pole with great effort.

Wales’ newest pole

Much excitement down our lane this week.  So much so that a statistical blip of reduced-productivity appeared, albeit briefly, on national audit spreadsheets calculating GDP.  This is a story of a pole replacement operation.  The twin poles of the bend by the lake are, alas, no more.  The fine gentleman crew of this contractor lorry told me, via Swansea accent interpreter, that these poles was buggered, see, and he sells 'em, makes a tidy bit an' all.

The pole being removed is/was quite dear to this society too  - as can be seen from our P.O.T.M. entry for October 2017.

This pair of gentle, unassuming 24ft Light poles, have stood steadfast since 1958 have now been upgraded to 8 metre Medium poles - this to take the extra weight of the great fat fibre broadband cables that run past my house and yet still refuses to stop off here FCS!  Nice to see they've got proper numbers now though: DP20 & DP 20/1.  But I'll be cold in my cryonic deep freeze by the time they turn that lovely verdigris of the original poles.

Anyway, to celebrate this renewal down our quiet cul-de-sac valley, a book of condolence to POTM 10/17 (DP20+) has been opened at Capel Bethel, and Aberfrwd Ladies Guild are organising a tea party on the lawn in front of Statcraft visitor centre - at a date and time to be notified.