The Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society

Firstly, our Honorary Technical Advisor Keith S**** H.T.A. T.P.A.S. (pictured left, yesterday), has written in answer to Paul’s request for information a good few posts ago.

Have just seen Paul’s heart rending message,he is obviously worried that his poles may fall over. Do not fret my dear chap, properly pressure creosoted poles will last up to 100 years, yes 100 years before they fall down.Trust this alleviates your anxiety.

 

Keith S.(Honourary Technical Advisor,T.P.A.S)

He’s also written again to correct this website on some potential inaccuracies – well, that’s what Honorary Technical Advisors are for after all. In my Hieroglyphics gallery I make mention of “Heavy” poles.  Apparently, no so thing; they are light, medium or Stout as indicated by the “cutting in (gouging).  Last gouged figures on a pole indicates its year of processing.  “Mind you”, he says,  “the stouts would be pretty heavy”.

Finally, and it was never my intention to collect telegraph pole insulators or indeed photos of them.  But that is what seems to be happening.  And Ray Thorp – ex GPO / Post Office Telephones / British Telecom employee of 42 years sent me some photos of his eclectic potting-shed based collection.  Among his ageing exhibits are an ex-Southern Railway insulator made of pitch-fibre.  And the central one pictured right dates back to the National Telephone Co.  and while porcelain on the inside is made of enamelled tin on the outside – like a camping mug.

Stay tuned listeners… All photos gratefully received – ceramics, pole of the month contenders, bizarre stuff.

It is often pointed out to us that half of the photos we show on this website are, in fact, electricity distribution poles.  But as we say on the front page :

“We don’t care what the wires contain either. They all carry electricity in some way be it the sparky stuff which boils your kettle, or the thinner stuff with your voice in it when you’re on the phone”

If you were to stop Joseph and Mary Public in the street, point them at either an electricity DP or an aged GPO pole and ask “What is that?”  99.9% of the time, I am sure, you will hear the answer “A telegraph pole”.  And it is on that premise that this site operates. 

That and the fact that all wire-carrying wooden poles, as far as I am concerned,  have an essence of whimsical poetry all of their own.  There they stand, silent sentinels, forever observing us who scurry about beneath them, oblivious.  I’ll get my coat.

What sort of body is it that doesn’t have a mission statement?

August and elite a society we may be, but visitors to this site might be confused by our lack of  this vital corporate expression of intent.  Anyway, we couldn’t think up one for ourselves so we trusted in an online Mission Statement Generator at http://www.bit.ly/mstatement.  We want no longer…

 “Our objective is to inspire accountable synergies and transition back-end channels with paradigm shift for the benefit of our stakeholders and other local partnerships”

I think that about covers it.

The entire administration department of the Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society recently undertook a sojourn to the Peoples’ Republic of Ireland. 

Our mission was primarily one of pantomime observance, but we never miss an opportunity to gaze in wonder at Johnny Foreigner’s public infrastructure.  And there were many telegraphpolic marvels to behold I can (and will) tell you.  Not least this amazing structure, made entirely out of telegraph poles spotted on  a roundabout in Letterkenny, Co. Donegal.

Pleasing to the eye it might be, but as a children’s fairground ride it fails miserably – the little mites just get splinters all over their backsides, and however much you push it, the damn thing just refuses to spin.

Clearly some thinking through required next time.

That’s it. Job almost done.  The painters have taken all their empty tins away and removed the dust-sheets and so here we are at the all-new joomla powered Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society website. 

This format allows for much easier updating.  Apologies to all my correspondents over the last couple of years, but now I can., much later than promised)  get around to posting all your stuff up online (soon).

Meanwhile, my paid work front has largely followed the contours of the recession – ergo I will have more time to devote to my whimsy.  Please look forward to some sister websites getting an overhaul soon too.

Meanwhile, keep spotting in telepole land.

Martin (member#0001)

A telegraph pole farm in the Orkney Isles.

The Orkney Isles are the source of most of the UK’s telegraph poles. Telegraph Pole Farming is a mainstay of the economy in these harsh northern isles. The posts seen here are nearly ready for harvesting. Every autumn, migrant workers from Eastern Europe work night and day picking only the tallest, creosotey poles with the most succulent insulator fruit.