The walls at HQ TPAS

W ell just look what the parcel force man delivered here today…

#15. Mixed Media on Canvas. 100 x 50 cm – by Joe Simpson

This will look splendid on the walls here at Telegraph Pole HQ.  But we didn’t half jangle our nerves getting it.  With telephone bids coming in from around the world, and the Sotheby’s auctioneer about to bang his gavel to an Oligarch collector – we thought we’d missed our chance.  “Four million, three hundred thousand pounds anyone?”  “Going once, to the shifty looking foreigner in the front row…”, “Twice…”. 

Now, I blame the lamb biryani we had at lunchtime, but that was a terrible moment for my dyspepsia to kick in.  And to an excited auctioneer a gurgled stifled belch might conceivably sound like a bid. 

“Gone… Four million, three hundred thousand pounds to the startled looking gentleman over by the toilets. Congratulations, Sir.”

Right, I’ve just been on the internet and found a buyer for my right kidney.  That just leaves £4,299,000 to find!