Mission Statement

posted in: General

What sort of body is it that doesn’t have a mission statement?

August and elite a society we may be, but visitors to this site might be confused by our lack of  this vital corporate expression of intent.  Anyway, we couldn’t think up one for ourselves so we trusted in an online Mission Statement Generator at http://www.bit.ly/mstatement.  We want no longer…

 “Our objective is to inspire accountable synergies and transition back-end channels with paradigm shift for the benefit of our stakeholders and other local partnerships”

I think that about covers it.

Polestar Roundabout, Letterkenny

posted in: General

Public art, polestar roundabout, Letterkenny, Eire

The entire administration department of the Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society recently undertook a sojourn to the Peoples’ Republic of Ireland. 

Our mission was primarily one of pantomime observance, but we never miss an opportunity to gaze in wonder at Johnny Foreigner’s public infrastructure.  And there were many telegraphpolic marvels to behold I can (and will) tell you.  Not least this amazing structure, made entirely out of telegraph poles spotted on  a roundabout in Letterkenny, Co. Donegal.

 

Pleasing to the eye it might be, but as a children’s fairground ride it fails miserably – the little mites just get splinters all over their backsides, and however much you push it, the damn thing just refuses to spin.

 

Clearly some thinking through required next time.

 

 

 

Sage Advice

posted in: General

It’s amazing the number of enquiries we get about telegraph poles.  The latest being from Caroline Walker from Decentchapsmusic in Nottinghamshire.  She asks :

“We have a TP in the corner of our front garden, under which is the only place where we can park our beloved bandwagon….unfortunately 4000 birds like to perch on top of said TP and go about their daily business which lands directly on the windscreen, bonnet, roof and door.  Is there a large ‘tray’ that can be positioned under our feathered friends, or perhaps an ‘Eagle’ perched on top of the TP to persuade the little twitters to go elsewhere.  Any useful advice would be much appreciated!!”

I have been known to stand on a box in a street corner shouting down an upturned traffic cone in order to dispense my useful advice.  So without further ado…

Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society Membership CertificateStarlings are birds that like to fly in flocks that are exact multiples of 100 which explains why there are precisely 4,000 of them.  If you had said 3,978 or 4,017 then I would have to suggest some other type of bird like ospreys or Ibis or something.

According to my calculations though, each bird must only be the size of a grain of rice in order for 4,000 of them to perch atop a pole which has a horizontal perching area of only about 100 sq inches.  Unless of course you were looser in your description and the birds were actually spread  out along the wire.  We’ll never know.

Anyway, other than warning you to beware of damage caused by jumpers landing on your passing bandwagon, the answer to your question is a resounding “Yes”!

In anticipation of our sage advice (now duly given) Caroline became the latest member to join our wonderful society and share with us the joy of telegraph poles.  Anyway Caroline, our large membership dept is presently away on telegraph pole related business and will be back to post you out your member pack next Tuesday.  Meanwhile, here is a little picture of a certificate to whet your appetite.

Information Required

posted in: General

Dear fellow enthusiasts,

The following appeal for information landed on our doorstep today (metaphorically speaking):

“I have a few questions for you guys out there and would appreciate any help. There our 2 poles on our private land.

Are we entitled to “rent” for them? (I know it is probably a paltry sum they are carrying electric overhead cables)

And what is the lifespan of them? I presume that the little oblong plate with the number 63 followed by 1124 would probably mean 1963. So at over 45 years old is that too old? and they would require replacing?

thanks for your help

Paul”

Well Paul, let me start by saying that I am considerably over 45 years old  and yes, I am much too old and I do indeed need replacing.

Meanwhile, we have two telegraph poles on our fields also, and we get an annual payment of £28 (wayleave) for the pair.  Please search for “telegraph pole wayleave” on the internet, and also have a look at the following page :

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=295306

However, as for your remaining questions, we have some veteran telegraph pole connoisseurs on this site and I’m sure one of them could answer how long your poles might be expected to last and whether the 63 really does mean it’s been in the ground since 1963.

Please click here and tell us if you can help Paul.

Facelift – Mission accomplished

posted in: General

That’s it. Job almost done.  The painters have taken all their empty tins away and removed the dust-sheets and so here we are at the all-new joomla powered Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society website. 

This format allows for much easier updating.  Apologies to all my correspondents over the last couple of years, but now I can., much later than promised)  get around to posting all your stuff up online (soon).

Meanwhile, my paid work front has largely followed the contours of the recession – ergo I will have more time to devote to my whimsy.  Please look forward to some sister websites getting an overhaul soon too.

Meanwhile, keep spotting in telepole land.

Martin (member#0001)

Whence they came

posted in: General

A telegraph pole farm in the Orkney Isles

A telegraph pole farm in the Orkney Isles.

 

The Orkney Isles are the source of most of the UK’s telegraph poles. Telegraph Pole Farming is a mainstay of the economy in these harsh northern isles. The posts seen here are nearly ready for harvesting. Every autumn, migrant workers from Eastern Europe work night and day picking only the tallest, creosotey poles with the most succulent insulator fruit.

A World without Telegraph Poles

posted in: General

Before you think they’re just dull sticks with wires, take a look at Cerrigydrudion High Street below. For the second picture we popped over to a parallel universe where electricity hasn’t been invented.

Cerrigydrudion High Street WITH telegraph poles

 

 

 

Picture 1 :

 

Our Universe, where telegraph poles flourish in total biodiversity. (N.B. In this universe Wrexham are an under-performing non-league, football team)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parallel universe without the street furniture.

 

 

Picture 2:

Cerrigydrudion in a parallel universe
(N.B. Wrexham 4 times Champions of Europe)

 

 

Apart from the football differences, I prefer our universe version of Cerrigyrdudion with all its aerial clutter. I forgot to say, a pint of Timothy Taylors is 1,550 Euros in the parallel White Lion.

 

 

 

 

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