Surprising isn’t it that I never start any of these posts with the letter “i”. Truth is, the fancy dropped-capital letter thing what I do looks crap with letter i’s. So anyway, what I wanted to say is “It may just be that we never really imagine Iceland – the Björkish north atlantic country – not the British supermarket chain – ever having poles. Well they do and our Icelandic correspondent, Hâfi Martinsdottir*1, has just reported back from there with these magnificent photos. These are from near Vik*2 in Southern Iceland. And whilst more power than telegraphic in nature, they still have that aesthetic enchantment that keeps people like me fixated upon them. Njóta
*1Our correspondents are so poorly paid that Miss Martinsdottir spent 14 days sleeping in the back of a Skoda Fabia in the middle of winter in order to acquire these pics for our voracious readership. Dedication indeed.
*2 The Sinex Nasal Spray and the stuff you rub on your chest has a “c” in it : Vick.
Now, I have one amazing claim to fame: On 17th May 1985 somewhere on the M6 near Walsall I overtook a dark blue estate car. At the wheel of that car was none other than Duncan Goodhew. Yes this famously dyslexic motivational-speaker who has twice appeared on the Sooty Show glanced across at me knowingly – I could just see in his eyes he was trying to say “For Christ’s sake, come on then, overtake if you’re going to.” Duncan, by this time, tiring of his squeaky puppet celebrity, discovered that his low-friction scalp gave him an advantage in the swimming pool. He never looked back and won all medals and stuff and then did other stuff, probably. The final Sooty Show aired in 1992.
Anyway, now it’s time for your very own CLAIM TO FAME. It’s WIN A TPAS MUG COMPETITION TIME – Yes, enthrall your grandchildren as they beg you again and again to tell them the story of the day you won a Telegraph Pole mug off the chap who overtook Duncan Goodhew on the M6.
It’s one of those caption sort of competions. Think up a caption or indeed anything at all to say about the picture you see below. Not the mug picture, the other one. Look up the rules on someone else’s caption competition and send us your caption/observations. Look, we tried to come up with a caption ourselves and realised how hard it is – so we’ll accept pretty much anything so long as it’s related to the picture below. We’ll choose a winner from one of my wife’s*1 ones by next Saturday (ish). The picture was sent in to us by Dave Bennett (#0666) and somebody else sent it to him – the photo was taken at 16 megapixels apparently, but somehow shrank in the wash so I had to photoshop it back up again. Anyway, here it flippin’ is. See below picture for where to send your ideas.
*1 Only kidding – she’s the judge actually.
Send your thoughts/caption/anything about this picture to us at:
FACEBOOK: In the comments section on the related post on our facebook page
Look what you win: (not that exact mug – you won’t want that one – it forms part of our in-house tea-stain ring-growing competition.)
We reserve the right to change the rules to suit ourselves – cos there’s always someone who tries it on. No more than 2 captions per fake email address please.
Alex Latham’s eye was taken by this olde pole in the small town of Shildon*1 Co. Durham:
I thought it quite remarkable for it to have survived for so long in an urban area.
Judging by the large amount of wires streaming away from it in all directions, it seems to be keeping busy in its old age, unlike most of its peers that will now have been retired or replaced. I say long may it survive and continue to do its duty!
Can’t tell the vintage of distribution pole #44 from this angle, but it certainly looks long in tooth and there is something pleasing about the wires in the second sky picture. (Click the pictures to enlarge. Oh, you know this by now!) Thanks Alex for keeping your eyes so peeled 🙂
*1 Never flippin’ heard of it.
MartYn Fielder (#0486H) claims never to have seen the Telegraph Pole related blockbuster “The Pole Liner”. We find this a little difficult to believe, but just to ensure this status quo becomes mutatis mutandis*1 here is a link to see this cinematic masterpiece for free, in your own home completely surrounded by your own odours. <Watch The Pole Liner>. Anyway MartYn also apologises for his non-correspondence for the last 3 years, but he hopes his submission of the 6 photos you see below will go some way to correcting things. We’ll give it a go…
He also pointed us in the direction of the “Dull Men’s Club” for reasons we cannot yet fathom. We are familiar with said organisation, but it seems, they not with us. Also, MartYn filled us in on his recent potted history. He left Senegal, moved to Paris, got Married and went on honeymoon to the Isle*2 of Skye. This is not a permutation of events achieved by anyone ever, either before or since. It was during the honeymoon on Skye that he spotted these “Jolly looking poles with extra pokey bits” with the Cuillin Hills in the background during Skye’s annual sunny day of 2015. He couldn’t choose between the pics*3 so he sent them all. Anyway, he asks what are the pokey bits? Well, MartYn your nomenclature is bang on the nail. The correct telegraphpoleological term for these raised insulators on stalks is indeed “Pokey Bits”. So that’s that cleared up then.
*1 The opposite of Status Quo. Showaddywaddy perform a similar function.
*2 As a nerd, I take issue with describing Skye as an island seeing as it now has a bridge.
*3 Neither could I
Regular and high-powered*1 contributor to the depth of telegraphic wisdom that makes up these society pages – is our old friend Carter Wall (#0487H). Carter tells us she has decamped to Florida for her Yuletide felicitations – and if I had not got a grip of myself and not finally got around to posting this now it would have seemed hopelessly anachronistic. As it is, 1st Jan is still officially Crimbo. Anyway…
We have decamped to sunny Florida for the holidays, and got here in time to catch the town’s very home-made Christmas parade, which features everything from the high school marching band to the local dentist dressed as Santa, driving his Corvette. My hands down favorite in the parade, and I am sure that of any other TPASers*2 in the crowd, was the local electric utility’s float, which featured two telegraph poles, complete with hardware. First time I’ve seen a pole with fairy lights! Merry Christmas to you all!
Cater signed off with “Sent from my mobile – please pardon any typos”. Well of course I will – I’m not the sort to hold grudges. Typos, you are forgiven.
*1 Did you see what I did there? Oh goodness me, I’m just so sharp!
*2 Yes, this definitely would be a favourite.
Ray Newman would have sent us these fine pictures of Telegraph Pole Finials much sooner, only he tells us he has been the victim of a dental extraction which went terribly wrong. For Ray’s dentist had got things completely back to front – instead of taking Ray’s teeth out – he accidentally fitted a handful of teeth IN to Ray’s already full mouth. So the poor chap has been walking the streets of Bishopstone, Herne Bay smiling and beaming at everyone, in a desperate attempt to use up this excess in superfluous dental accoutrements.
Anyway, he’s nearly back to a regular grin now, thankfully, and has been taking the time to look skywards at telegraph pole adornments: Herewith two pictures of a pole with Owl shaped finial – presumably, together with the bird spikes intended to ward off birds – with limited success if picture #1 is anything to go by. Ray has also come up against the age old telegraph pole appreciators’ exposure problem: photographing them against a bright sky – a problem he seems almost to have overcome by the third picture which shows a handsome wooden finial.
Many thanks Ray. Do keep smiling 🙂
John Brunsden (#0469H) has an advantage over we mere mortal telegraph pole appreciators insomuch as he is a professional ascender and mender of said grounded perpendicular appendages. And we’re always extremely grateful for his updates from the field. Accepting that he gets first pick of the most somethingest of all telegraph poles and is finely tuned to looking at them anyway, there is still plenty of scope for the rest of us to pick up the gauntlet he has hereby thrown down to us. Namely, his entries to most leaning pole, and also thinnest pole (at just 3″ diameter). Anyway, here’s what he had to say.
Had to go and look at a leaning pole in a garden this afternoon (photo enclosed) and thought this could be the start of “the pole with the most degrees of lean” competition?
Anyway, on the way there, I passed these lovely 3 in a row, 1942, tiny 18ft “extra” light poles, which they say were probably put up by land girls back in the day! Sadly all were “D” poles, so I guess not long for this world…
I duly submit pole 1 of these as my entry to “the thinnest pole” competition !
And a happy November first, then Christmas, to you too John 😉
Not to be outleaned, Mike Donnithorne (#0597) sent us this picture of her indoors – not only sprouting leaves but as a delightful foreground to some sort* of leaning pole. This, from the mists of time, somewhere near Banbury he thinks.
* Looks like the sail off a boat to me. Click to enlarge.
Special thanks to (#0620) John Cranston for this wonderfully atmospheric shot. With a backdrop of 152 searchlights, it was taken 80 years ago this month and the light is coming from a live gig at the Nuremberg Stadium featuring the top act of 1936, Hitler and the Nazis.
The ghoulish may wish to see more at http://mashable.com/2016/09/18/nuremberg-rallies/#OVuv1IMYMaqs
IMAGE: ULLSTEIN BILD/ULLSTEIN BILD VIA GETTY IMAGES
Mover and shaker in US power poles and long time friend to this society, Carter Wall, has written with this every day tale of country folk.
Well, I have moved to the country since we last spoke, happily living on a dirt road with no mobile service, no cable television – we are very remote. But we DO have phone and electric service, which means we have poles, of course. We also have our Beloved Town Eccentrics, who have Charming Rural Customs. One of my neighbors, who is well known in the area for his courageous resistance to government oppression, which includes refusing to make use of the town dump or pay for his utilities, has thriftily re-purposed the pole outside his house – see picture – and yes, the phone works.)
But could it just be that you’ve discovered the rural residence of New York’s most effectual, most tip-top, Top Cat?