A bit like the football transfer window*1, we couldn’t close this off and announce the winner until we’d seen all the candidates. Now, with just 6 hours remaining, we are delighted to present for you, dear viewers, The Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society’s Telegraph Pole of the Month for January 2018.
I should also like to share with you the accompanying, long hand letter from Norwich:
Please may I submit the attached image for consideration as your esteemed organisation’s Pole of the Month for January. Photographed in Sutherland on the third day of 2018 with the snow-capped Coire Gorm looming above the mists of Loch a’ Ghriama, the pole outside the remote Merkland telephone exchange resembled a forlorn post-festivity Christmas tree, its branches bare and shorn of ornaments and tinsel – or, in this case, insulators and all but a couple of wires.
At least, that’s how one member of the Norwich and District branch of the TPAS saw it. And as Mrs Bracegirdle was the only one of our party still capable of standing and focusing after the branch’s annual week-long Hogmanay celebrations near the fishing port of Kinlochbervie, she made marginally more sense than the rest of us.
W. Montgomery Stack
Do keep ’em coming dear connoisseurs. Poles like this almost extinct in the wild nowadays, about which David Attenborough and, indeed, the BBC are depressingly quiet. Remember though, please attach your photos to any emails you kindly send us rather than insert them into the text – the email masher seems to make them smaller and I have to magic them into a useable size with my special thingy (whose name escapes me for the moment). Send to firstname.lastname@example.org. We regret that at the moment we are no longer accepting photos of genitals.
*1 Ok, not at all like the football transfer window, it’s just that I’m in confused focus at the moment due to our need of a decent midfielder and it looks like we might have just signed Nicky Deverdics from Hartlepool Utd FC. In the nick of time too.