Appreciation Day 2018

 

Blimey, that soon came around.  This Friday (or last Friday if you're reading this next week) is (was) Telegraph Pole Appreciation Day,  This is a day to look up from your iPhone 8 and your facebook feed showing what each of your 861 friends had for tea last night.  Look up, look up, and gaze on the telegraphular magnificence of those lovely wooden, tall, sticky, uppy things that BT (formerly GPO) have kindly erected around the country for us to APPRECIATE.

A telegraph pole photo stamped with Appreciation Approval stampAnd what finer way to celebrate this wonderful 1/365th [*1] of the year than to give our dear readers this one-off SPECIAL OFFER to get 50% of the price of either our book (Telegraph Pole Appreciation for Beginners) or full life membership of this most sage, august and revered society.

Simply go to our shop page and enter the code APPRECIATE at checkout.  This offer expires on 30th September.

So, make my wife's day and help us clear a path to our pantry through this pile of books what we have here as well as finding your own path to telegraph pole enlightenment and wisdom.

What's that you say; you've already got this book.  No problem, simply buy another and bring down the average price of the first one by about a third.  Buy 2, save even more.  Christmas is coming. It's a no brainer win-win.  I think.  If you bought one in the last week or so, get in touch. What's more, any books ordered on 21st September (exactly) will get a free TPAS pencil too.  Gordon Bennett, cut my own bleeding throat why don't I?

*1 1/366th in years whose last two digits are evenly divisible by four, except for centenary years not divisible by 400

The poles of Islay…

And Colonsay, and Jura and Arran.  Yes, The Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society is back from its annual pole festival - and just in time for Appreciation Day too (September 21st).  Turns out it's unimaginable that anyone would visit Islay for anything but the distillery tours (9 and counting).  When I said that we were there just to look at telegraph poles they suggested I must already have been at an extended malt tasting session.  Honest, that island and its visitors are whisky bonkers.  Mostly male visitors from Japan, Scandinavia and (inevitably) USA formed queues to strip to their trunks and dive into the huge copper vats of peated malt whisky then talk bollocks about top notes of butterscotch and salted lemon peel.  Then they complained of kidney pain and passed out.

Anyway, while they were doing all that, they missed out on the terrific lines of olde poles that can be found on this Hebridean gem.  We found further, albeit fewer, interesting poles on neighbouring islands. Here is a splendid photo gallery of edited highlights for you.  I haven't put captions on any of them because I have a banging headache still.

Thirsty Pole Watchers

A sudden letter of underwhelmment*1 this week from Jenny Tailyour recently returned from a journey of unenlightenment:

Dear Sir,
Given the legendary ferocity of their thirsts, your membership may be interested in a discovery made  during an otherwise disappointing  tour of the Scottish lowlands. Attached are photographs of unspectacular poles at Coldstream and North Berwick. The third photograph, however, represents a consummation devoutly to be wished by any lover of those two pillars of civilised society: telegraph poles and alcohol. Yes, finally, a telegraph pole you can actually drink. This bottle of Bush Telegraph comes from the Antipodes yet was found resting on the shelves of an out-of-the-way 'offie' in East Lothian.
It is now empty.
Yours,
Jenny Tailyour.

*1 Underwhelmment really should be a word.

Telegraph Pole Appreciation Day 2017

SEPT 21st. Society Member #666, Dave Bennett writes: “I thought you’d like to see that we devotees of The Cause in Wiltshire, are celebrating TPAS DAY at Pole-Henge just up the road from me. This was the scene at first light this morning with folk already assembling for the Big Sunrise when thousands are expected. There is more security this year but it was established that the minor crowd trouble last year was entirely due to a few hotheads from the Pylon Appreciation Society – metal morons !
Anyway, Congratulations to our founders and best wishes to all on this our most auspicious of days !!”

HAPPY TELEGRAPH POLE APPRECIATION DAY.

A cartoon of polehenge - a henge made out of telegraph poles
The scene at sunrise, Polehenge on Telegraph Pole Appreciation Day. Thanks to Dave Bennett for the pic.