TPAS BOOK LAUNCH.  Here, right now…

TPAS BOOK LAUNCH. Here, right now…

This is the book you’ve all been waiting for. And probably your entire lives if only you knew it. Prize-winning*1 author Martin Evans has put together 150 pages of the finest, most colourful, most distalgesic telegraphic information and other stuff about your favourite tall wooden sticky-uppy things. Many years in the making. It’s got 150 shiny pages, a front, a back, an inside as well as an outside and words galore. Plus we know you love facts so we’ve put in some of those as well. This is the book that just keeps on giving.

Here are three words that the publishers used to describe this book:

  • Humourous
  • Whimsical
  • Eccentric

Here are three more words. The ones the publishers didn’t use.

  • Audacious
  • Heartwarming
  • Cumulonimbus

Order one today and you’ll also receive some free love sent in your direction by our in-house giver of love, Mrs T. All this and a beautiful wealth-enhancing price tag specially selected just for you.  <CLICK HERE> to get yours now.

Orders restricted to 100 copies per customer. Sorry, but we are having to be strict on this one.

*1 Low Jump competition, Bronington Primary School, 3rd Place; British Sausage Time wrist watch prize draw: 1st place; 12 tins Kattomeat in Wrexham Evening Leader wordsearch competition, ca 1983: 1st place; Gallon of 5W-30 engine oil in Betws school PTA evening tombola: so 1st again.

**IMPORTANT** IF YOU WANT THE AUTHOR TO SIGN YOUR BOOK, PLEASE SAY WHO AND WHAT ETC. IN THE NOTES ON CHECKOUT. IF MR EVANS HAS ARISEN FOR THE DAY I’LL DO IT THEN.

Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society MUGS

A Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society MugOctober 29th it was when the checkout girl asked the person behind me – and I kid you not –  “Are you ready for Christmas?” Well I had to be restrained! I’d already been hearing Noddy Holder grinding out his annual fingernails-on-a-blackboard thing down at the garden centre for days by then.

We should all do well to remember that Christmas is only 99% about crass commercialisation and the endless purveyance of tat. The other 1% is about you parting with £8.99 to grab for yourself (or someone else) one of our all-new Yo ho ho! Merry Christmas, Joyeux Noel, Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society Mugs.

Each mug has…

  • A handle.
  • A hollow bit in the middle for the tea.
  • A bottom.
  • Magnificent splendour.
  • A picture of a telegraph pole on one side.
  • And on the other
  • And some nice Technicolour www writing on the bottom.
  • A light buff cardboard super-strong box that it comes in.

What’s more, we have 3 special pricing plans so that everyone can afford one of these wonderfully collectable treasures.

Option 1 :  £8.99 including free P&P

Option 2 :  £5.99 only + £3.00 P&P

Option 3 : For our more skint telegraph pole fans we have easy terms on the tick: 2 instalments of £3.00 with a final payment of £2.99 all consolidated into a special one-off easy payment of £8.99.

You just can’t go wrong. So click that button now*1. Once for every person in your life who loves telegraph poles.  If you live in America or anywhere that’s not the UK then contact us first, please – there’s virtually nowt in this for us as it is !

 

 

*1 Offer limited to 1,000 mugs per household.

I’d like a mug please

A Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society mugGranted it may not still be Christmas by the time you’re looking at this.  But getting all the photography stuff out again to take a spring or summer-themed photograph is asking a bit much.  Especially when me and Mrs Telegraph Pole fell out over the taking of this one.  Anyway, declare loudly to the world down at the building site/office/church coffee morning your love of telegraph poles with one of these all-new Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society Mugs.  £8.99 all in, incl postage and all the stuff listed below…

The specification of these ultra-high quality mugs is breathtaking*1

  • Hold exactly 1.00 mugs worth of tea/beverage of your choice.
  • Empty bit in the middle to hold said tea/beverage of your choice.
  • Handle on side.
  • Telegraph pole image on one side.
  • Telegraph pole image on the other side too (not shown here).
  • The words WWW.TELEGRAPHPOLEAPPRECIATIONSOCIETY.ORG printed in lovely Technicolor (TM) to remind you where to go to order another one.

Also Included, absolutely FREE

  • High-tensile cardboard posting box – yours to keep, forever.  Built to withstand the weight of an Austin Allegro.
  • A warm glow of satisfaction of money well spent.

 Unlike some other appreciation society mugs, ours comes with free postage.  Unless you live in America, in which case, you’d bankrupt us so please contact us first for postage to the USA.  Or indeed anywhere outside the UK.

*1 If you at all suffer with Asthma